You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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