i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
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She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
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He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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