just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
