I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
