Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
