i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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