my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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