He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Panties = found
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
