question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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