I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she told me i tasted like america
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
