In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
