I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
