glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
