You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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