So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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