I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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