just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
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gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
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We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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