Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
