***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
