Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
