Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
