My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
