This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
