so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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