this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he fucked my hip out of place.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
