i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
