oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
