Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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