I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
