what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
