see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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