this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
