were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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