Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
