so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
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You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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