dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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