ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
