dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
