I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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