Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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