That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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