I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
