There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
