The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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