is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
