i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
