just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
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Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
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I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
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