From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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