they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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