You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
