i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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