PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
