I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
