grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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