You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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