Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
