why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
