dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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